Why You Should Dump Your Therapist..And How

athenianprint
Apr 7
3 min read

by Charlottle Livingston

Therapy is the process in which an expert in all things mental health helps individuals of all ages work through emotional and psychological challenges.

Therapy has multiple approaches—cognitive behavioral therapy, EMDR, art therapy, and exposure therapy.

The goal is to improve mental health by learning effective coping mechanisms and promoting personal growth. Stress, anxiety, trauma, depression, self-esteem-related problems, and relationship troubles are all issues that can be addressed through therapy.

Therapy is widely stigmatized in various communities, especially African American and Latinx communities. It is believed by older generations that therapy is an indicator that you're “crazy,” which is a myth.

The Importance of Finding a Therapist Who Is the Right Fit:

In recent years, therapy has been increasingly accepted and normalized among younger generations, which is incredible. However, most aren't taught the importance of finding a therapist who is the right fit for you, and this is crucial.

A therapeutic relationship is built on trust, understanding, and respect. When you find the right fit, you are more likely to open up, which increases the effectiveness of your time in therapy. When you feel heard and understood, you are more likely to engage fully, leading to a better outcome.

A mismatch, though, can hinder progress, make the therapeutic process feel unhelpful, and cause frustration and even harm to the healing process. When finding a therapist, it's helpful to consider communication style, therapeutic approach, and compatibility.

I once heard that finding a therapist is like dating. Similarly, you have to explore therapists and "date around" until you find the right one. Like dating to find love, finding a therapist is just as hard, and not all therapist-client relationships work out. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay, and it’s all part of the process. It may not necessarily be easy, but once you find the right fit, it makes the experience and therapeutic outcome worth it.

Signs You Might Need to Dump Your Therapist

If you feel that you haven't made any progress or feel unhelped as time passes, this is a key sign you may need a new therapist.
The goal of your sessions should always align with what your needs are; if it doesn’t and there's a disconnect, it may be time for a change.
Therapy is a safe space. If you feel judged, uncomfortable, or misunderstood, this is a good reason to find a new therapist.
Sometimes, it can simply be an issue of personalities not mixing well, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you have a bad therapist—she/he just isn’t the right fit.
Lastly, if you feel worse coming out of a session than you felt going in, this is a red flag.

Tips For Finding The Right Therapist For You

Research: It's helpful to research therapists, their credentials, and their treatment approaches before committing. It’s important to recognize that not all therapists and their approaches are the same.
What kind of therapy do you need?: Try to determine what kind of therapy you need and align it with your goals. If you don’t know where to start, that’s okay! You can try a consultation with a professional or look for online resources to determine what kind of therapy you need.
Trust your instincts: Listen to your gut feeling about your therapist during initial consultations and early sessions. If it feels off, it's okay not to continue.
Don’t settle: I know it's hard, and it may get stressful, but I encourage you to keep looking for a therapist who is right for you. It’s worth the effort to find your match.

How to Tell Your Current Therapist You’re Ending the Relationship

Be honest and respectful: It’s okay to be honest about the reasons you want to part ways, but try doing so without placing blame, and be kind.
Over-explanation isn’t necessary: You don’t owe a long or detailed explanation—simply stating that you don’t feel it's the right fit is enough.
Leave gracefully: Thank them for the time they spent as your therapist and wish them the best!
Don’t feel guilty: Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s right for you! You are not obligated to continue with a therapist.

Finding the right therapist is the most important action to take. Never settle and don’t give up on finding the right therapist for you. Be patient with yourself and give yourself grace.

Therapy is valuable, and finding the right person to help you walk through life is a journey that can’t be rushed. It’s the key to making progress.

If you need a therapist and are currently searching, start with Mount’s Counseling and Psychological Services!

You’ll find their information down below.

Counseling and Psychological Services

https://www.msmu.edu/student-life/support-resources/counseling--psychological-services/

Chalon

Humanities Bldg, 1st Floor, H103

Phone: 310.954.4114

Fax: 310.954.4119

Monday-Thursday: 8:30 am - 5:00 pm

Friday: 8:00 am - 4:30 pm

Doheny